Wanderlust: Navigating the Highs and Lows of a Life in Motion
Me on my first day as a resident of the Netherlands in August 2024.
From Dreams to Reality: My Journey to Grad School in Europe!
By the time you read this, I will have moved to the Netherlands for my first semester of grad school. Six months later, I’ll be living in the Canary Islands (again!!) for my second semester. Yes, it finally happened! Through consistent, aligned action and maintaining a positive mindset (as much as I could), I transformed my vision into reality.
Earlier this year, someone special said something I’ll never forget. When I asked what my biggest red flag was, he told me, “wanderlust.” Honestly, I loved that this was the red flag that first came to mind. It’s definitely not the worst one I could have, right? Ever since I heard that, this question has been bouncing around in my mind: Why do I feel the need to travel and spend time abroad so often? Because, let me tell you, it can be exhausting and extremely challenging at times.
So far, I’ve traveled to over 24 countries, staying in many for a month or more, and often making multiple trips back to a place. Over the past nine years, I’ve lived in 3 houses, 6 apartments, 10 Airbnbs, and 50+ hotels and hostels—calling each of these places home for anywhere from a few days to a year. Needless to say, I deeply benefited from spending the past year back home in Wilmington, Delaware, where I could recharge and reflect. Being home for a longer period felt comforting and secure in so many ways. Although this time wasn’t something I planned, I now see how much I needed it.
Since I was young, I’ve always dreamed of exploring the world. I may not have had the words to express those feelings until I was older, but I was always saving my money for travel. Even at eight years old, I remember storing away holiday and birthday money in a small tin box under my bedside table, daydreaming of the day I’d use it to travel somewhere foreign and exciting. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a strong desire to seek out the unknown, move around, learn languages, and connect with people from diverse cultures and backgrounds. Before I even knew the term, this ‘wanderlust’ was an intrinsic part of my identity. Despite this, I never expected what 2024 would bring.
If you had asked me five years ago what I’d be doing in September of 2024, I definitely wouldn’t have guessed this. Even this time last year, I wouldn’t have known exactly. It’s truly amazing how quickly things can change! The past year has been one of deep introspection, lots of shadow work (like A LOT), humbling experiences that have helped me grow, and countless joyful, loving memories that will play on in my mind forever.
Deepa and I backpacking in the Netherlands back in 2019 post-undergrad.
The Emotional Landscape of Wanderlust
Something I don’t think people quite understand about those of us with wanderlust is our vast emotional landscape when going through these types of experiences. Since I started spending extended periods abroad, I’ve felt a complex mix of emotions every time I leave my hometown. The longer I plan to be away, the more intense these emotions become.
This time, I’m feeling everything more intensely than ever before. Of course, I’m incredibly excited and curious about what’s coming next. But I also feel guilty for leaving family and friends and fearful of letting go of what feels good in the here and now. I know that the support that matters will always exist, near or far, but it will inevitably shift and change with time and distance. As I write this, my eyes are filled with tears. I’m ready to see myself grow, evolve, and work towards the vision I’ve dreamed up for myself—one in which I strive to make my world and the world of those around me a better place with each step I take. Yet, I know that as I chase this dream, not everyone will be fully supportive of my decisions.
The more I travel, the more I learn about myself, the world, relationships, love, and so much more. Living with an immense sense of wanderlust comes with an intense array of emotions. Every goodbye hurts, and your heart always feels connected to so many places. On any given day, my heart goes out to the people I love, both at home and across the globe. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Diana and I back in early 2023 on our first day as roomies in Colombia.
Navigating the Complex Emotions of Transition
I feel deeply, with emotions that I can’t always explain, and I have love for many people and places. Some may see that as an inability to be decisive or a form of escapism, and maybe that has been true at times. But trust me when I say, I don’t choose to live this way because it’s easy. I choose it because it’s my way, it feels right, and even when it didn’t feel right or things didn’t go according to plan, a part of me knew it was all leading to where I am right now.
Maybe you don’t have this sense of wanderlust, but you’ve gone through life transitions that left you emotional beyond words. The emotions that come with any life-changing chapter can be overwhelmingly complex, and that’s okay. It’s important not to dismiss how you feel but to give your emotions space to exist and be felt. That’s where I’m at right now. I’m over the moon excited about this new chapter and know deep down it will be a pivotal experience in my life. However, my heart aches for the experiences, routines, love, and support that I’m saying goodbye to. But I know now that it’s never truly a goodbye, simply a ‘see you later.’
My last Trolley Run Club before leaving for the Netherlands.
The community I’ve built back home makes leaving so difficult, which is why I want to express my immense gratitude for all the beautiful groups I’ve been a part of during my time in Wilmington. The local yoga community has re-inspired my love for creativity, flow, and generosity. I had the opportunity to teach over 100 yoga classes to people of ages 3 to 70+ this year alone. Thank you to Courtney at Petite Yogi, Jason at Fly Yogi, Keith at Constitution Yards, Mandy at the Chancery Market, and Gregg at the YMCA for allowing me to experience that. Through joining local run clubs, Trolley and Own Pace run by Kaleigh and Olan respectively, I was reminded of how important it is to be surrounded by people who motivate you to be the best version of yourself through consistent practice, dedication, and connection. My extended time with family and loved ones, sharing meals and everyday moments, has filled my heart, helping me get to know them and myself on a deeper level. Without a doubt, this past year at home has made me stronger and more equipped to take on this next adventure.
Though I’ll be back and forth between two countries during my studies, the Netherlands and Spain, I plan to ground myself in those places, allowing myself to grow and connect with the communities that make me feel at home. Home, to me, isn’t a place—it’s a feeling. It’s the people who make you feel supported, held, and inspired. I feel that fully and must embrace it because I know bits of my heart will always be strung around the world. You have to be open to building a home wherever you go because it can be found anywhere if you allow yourself to open up to it. The longer you stay in one place, the more time you have to make it feel truly like your own.
Embrace the Emotions & Follow the Call
My birthday picnic celebration with friends in Gran Canaria last summer!
My hope is that this blog post serves as a reminder that if you’re going to do that scary, exciting thing that’s been on your mind, you’re going to feel a huge spectrum of emotions. But do it anyway, especially if you know deep down that it’s leading you where you’re supposed to go. You might have no idea how it will work out, but if you give yourself space to dream, plan, and prioritize your goals, you’ll make it happen.
Don’t let go of what’s calling you. Lean into it, even if the path becomes unclear or feels hopeless at times. And remember to always keep your heart open. Though it hurts like hell to say goodbye, it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.