The In-Between: Embracing Life’s Transitions

Understanding the In-Between

There’s a space between where you are right now and knowing what comes next. This space is called the in-between. It’s like looking ahead at the next chapter’s title while still having a few more pages to read in the current one or reading the description of the next episode in a TV series before finishing the current one. You have a general idea of what’s coming, but you don’t know exactly what to expect.

Being in an in-between stage of life can feel unsettling, especially when you see the next thing on the horizon. You may have days, weeks, months, or even years to get ready for it. The longer the in-between period, the more unsettling it can become. You plan and prepare as much as you can for the next step, imagining potential scenarios and outcomes, but there’s no way to know exactly how everything will pan out until you’re there. Essentially, you spend all this time in your head rather than being present where your feet are, and that will definitely weigh on you.

Navigating the Uncertainty

Often, when you’re in this in-between stage, you become so focused on what’s next that you get tunnel vision, making it difficult to see any of the opportunities available to you and really enjoy the moment. Other times, you might find yourself clinging to what’s around you because it feels safe and known. You’re aware that the change coming is good and feel it’s exactly what you should be doing, yet you love so many aspects of where you are now that you try to hold on to both.

This feeling of clinging to both is complex and contradictory. You don’t want things to change because they feel good, comfortable, and predictable as they are, yet you have a deeper, intuitive sense that this change is leading you where you’re supposed to go.

Self-doubting questions may arise in this stage, such as: What’s wrong with me? Why am I doing this? Everyone else seems to have their life figured out, so why don’t I? Why do I feel uncertain and depressed when this is what I wanted? Why do I put myself in situations like this? If these changes bring a lot of fear or discomfort, does that mean they’re not right for me? Am I making the right decision?

Questioning yourself is normal, especially when you don’t know how things will work out. Everyone questions themselves, and if they say they don’t, I wouldn’t believe them. There’s a difference between being confident in your decisions and knowing 100% that you are making the right decision. Confidence shows a level of certainty, while knowing is absolute. How can we be certain about a decision or experience we haven’t had yet? We can’t. You can be confident that going to college, working at a particular company, having kids, marrying someone, or any number of experiences are the right next steps for you, but you can’t know for sure without having experienced them.

Finding Clarity and Embracing the Duality

“Hindsight is 20/20.” I recently listened to a podcast featuring one of my favorite college professors, Stephanie Raible, where she mentioned this widely known idiom. It means that we see clearly only what has already happened. In the moments leading up to and during an experience, our vision isn’t clear. But immediately after or once some time has passed, we can see everything much more clearly. We understand why things happened the way they did and what the experience was supposed to teach us. Maybe this rule doesn’t apply to every situation, but for big life transitions, I’d say it does. It helps me make sense of things anyway.

I’m currently in an in-between stage of life. I know new things are coming in for me, but I’m not quite ready to say goodbye to my current reality. I’ve been feeling a lot of conflicting emotions because of this. Some days I feel energized, motivated, and inspired, while others make me feel lethargic, uncertain, and overwhelmed. But that’s the duality of life, right? With every decision you make, there are consequences. You cannot have good without bad, happiness without sadness, comfort without discomfort. To experience one, you must experience the other to tell them apart.

I believe every decision comes with dual consequences. You will have both positive and negative feelings about it. But underneath the feelings, there is a knowing. It goes beyond mental or emotional intelligence. It’s the gut or body’s intelligence that pulls you in a direction your brain and heart may not comprehend yet. It’s an inner wisdom or guidance that a well-thought-out explanation cannot fully explain.

Some things may not make sense to others and may not even make logical sense to you, but you have to trust your inner compass. When in doubt, ask yourself, “If I don’t do this, will I regret it?” Your answer should give you everything you need to know.

Explore Your In-Between

If you are going through a major life transition or period of uncertainty, you are welcome to book a complimentary discovery coaching call with me today to chat about these feelings and work on tapping into your deeper inner knowing.